Do you have Madness Fatigue? Do you have extreme inertia caused by all-day exposure to things that seem outlandish? Are you tired inside yet slightly astonished? Are you using “overwhelm” as a noun? Has “the Dow” started to sound like an invented concept? Are you sure you’ve gotten anything done today?

It’s probably just the election! Possibly some other stuff! People tend treat incoming information the way toddlers treat berries, but “more and more” might not be a great choice for you; ask your doctor today about some silence.

We came so close. The enthusiasm has been off the charts, ever since Grimace threw out an opening pitch and the season of winning began. The people are literally out there eating blue Grimace bread. We’re so unwell.

But McDonald’s couldn’t just take the free earned goodwill, so we get a billboard demanding our gratitude for Grimace helping the Mets win.

We were in a sketchy spot, having a dalliance with a commercial mascot turned good-luck charm. It was never going to end well.

Here’s a counterpoint to my negativity: “No other professional sports team, that already has two mascots, by the way, has CO-OPTED a third mascot from a FAST-FOOD CHAIN,” Vulture’s Rebecca Alter lectured us today. “And I think that’s frankly awesome. I think he and Mr. and Mrs. Met could do like a Challengers.”

Weirdly, that’s hot. Sorry! Anyway, the Mets play the Dodgers tonight a little after 8 p.m. and they will lose. I’m so confident about this that I’m going to bet on the Dodgers tonight, triggering a horrific generation-skipping addiction in my family that will result in me losing everything. I don’t want to die!

Nine hours of spooky hits, baby.

Why can’t we ever get the right amount of weather?

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