The beginning of the eclipse was great last night, but then it got very Translyvania out so I didn’t get a ton more except … darkness. That darkness has lingered today and will continue into this night, thanks to your government. |
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But Wait, How Did the Pandemic Change You for the Better? It sounds crazy coming from me, but we’re so focused on the negative.
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I lean on a joke construction that’s like “next pandemic I’m going to do X” — get fluent in Spanish, senselessly starve myself until I have abs, learn to crochet, finish this novel, fix one of my semi-crippling anxiety disorders. It’s dumb and not that funny. COVID definitely did some bad things to me (bad things that aren’t gone! And are maybe permanent, personality-wise!), but it also prompted positive changes. So I’m reading all these COVID “fifth anniversary” pieces (so American! So journalism! Though hearing about kids whose lives took a detour is really interesting), and they’re all true, but they often go too far or somehow just feel off. Yes, of course COVID made structural changes to our alleged society and probably gave us Trump 2.0, but overall the pandemic just feels more individual. It’s specific to people.
So please tell us about your pandemic wins: bad husbands ditched, bad bosses dealt with, talents discovered and honed, skills perfected, deadlifts personal-recorded, lives torn up in the good way.
Warning: I will be careful with how you are identified when we publish these! So do think about how you want to be named here in semi-public. Yes, your ex and your boss definitely read this newsletter. Same! 😅 |
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Here’s the News That Everyone’s Not Talking About The headlines are all about government shutdown stuff. Here’s what else happened.
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“A total of four Tesla cars parked in different streets went up in flames in Berlin last night.” I know this isn’t the point, but I will say that this isn’t great environmentally! Also the aqueous film-forming foam they use for these fires isn’t great! Photo by Omer Messinger/Getty Images |
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- The head of the Postal Service and DOGE made an “agreement,” which is actually quite concerning for people who like getting and sending mail.
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The White House has essentially demanded control of Columbia University. “Half of this stuff you can’t just do, and the other half is insane,” is how one professor described it.
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Two housecats in New York City came down with bird flu.
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More than 50 colleges are being interrogated over their racism! Finally, right? But no. The Department of Education says that they did bad DEI quotas or something. They’re going after Rutgers and the New England College of Optometry!
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Playboi Carti delighted middle-school bois and accused batterers of all ages by finally dropping the album. It feels really underbaked and overstuffed to me on a very brisk listen!
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But Have You Considered Michael Blake? Zohran this, Zohran that. |
102 days until the Democratic primary. 🤫 Adrienne Adams I am waiting to be wowed.
😲 Michael Blake Did an event with Leslie Odom Jr. But you know, I was not taking him seriously, but then he unveiled his platform called “Project 2026.” I laughed at the name, but you know what? It’s … good. Tax empty apartments? Withhold taxes from the Feds if they withhold money from us? A guaranteed income? Free CUNY? Sir, I apologize for scoffing!
💪 Brad Lander Came out with a decent workers’-rights platform this week. If that doesn’t excite you, this New York Post headline is actually very alluring to me: “Lefty mayoral hopeful Brad Lander pushes paving over NYC golf courses in desperate bid to solve housing crisis.” Absolutely!!!!
🗣️ Zohran Mamdani He went to go yell at Tom Homan, and he meant it! Guess what happened after — he had to actually shut down his Albany office phone because the racial slurs were coming too fast and too furious.
✊ Zellnor Myrie Woke up this morning and decided to call out Eric Adams for not standing up for us.
😓 Jessica Ramos The New York Times points out today that it’s rare to have three state lawmakers running for mayor and shuttling back and forth on the hell-commute that is the road to Albany. That is where Jessica Ramos has been — doing her job and, also, sitting on Amtrak. You know what? Her going to work and working for her constituents should be a strong selling point. Values!
😬 Scott Stringer Reminded us that it was Purim, and I’m gonna eat every hamantash I see! The Times reminded us this week that his defamation case against his sexual-assault accuser is still pending.
🫠 Whitney Tilson Got that big Bill Ackman backing this week. Haha yikes. 🚔🚓🚨🚔🚓 Jim Walden He announced the endorsement of … 14 retired law-enforcement officers. |
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Photo-Illustration: Vulture; Photos: Everett Collection (Claudette Barius/Focus Features, Anna Kooris/A24, Jessica Kourkounis, Apple TV+) |
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Please be on time on Monday! |
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